This week, we went to Disney. Maybe you’ve heard of it? I’m not sure who was more excited, the kids or the grandparents. The easy thing would be for me to give my first-timer reviews for the legendary rides, princess meet-and-greets, and mouse-shaped buffet waffles. Instead, let’s talk about the bathrooms.
When you go to Disney with a 3 and 4-year-old, you end up spending more time in bathrooms than you do in Thunder Mountain lines. You need to be strategic. Fast Passes don’t work in there. Here’s my guide to Disney bathrooms. For brevity, I’m focusing this on Magic Kingdom because that’s where we spent a lot of our time. Animal Kingdoms has great facilities too, by the way.
Bathroom #1: Park Entrance
On our first day to Magic Kingdom, my son and daughter stared up in awe at the castle they’ve seen at the beginning of all of their favorite Disney movies (Pinocchio and Snow White). This was immediately followed by ‘Papa, I gotta go potty.’ So attraction #2 became the closest bathroom. The ceramic tiling (clean enough to eat off) was a nice touch.
Bathroom #2: Fantasyland
Dumbo is a spinning ride not unlike something you might find at a traveling carnival, but to our kids, this was epic. Especially the play area inside. Good thing the adjacent bathroom was super close, because our son drank too much apple juice and barely made it. Overall, a great pit stop. The lines were short because it’s tucked away from the main attractions – and the medieval-style stall doors were fit for a (Lion) King.
Bathroom #3: Adventureland near Pirates of the Caribbean
This one gets my lowest marks. I took my daughter here while the grandparents were in another line. Pap was probably doing his spot-on Goofy impersonation. Gigi, focused on where to get our next snack. Michelle, studying the map for what show to see (The Old Country Jamboree featuring Big Al was near the top of her list, in case you’re wondering). Morgan came out frowning and said, “Too big inside.” So there you go. She got over it quickly, as she and I skipped off to meet up with everyone and move on her favorite ride for a second time - Splash Mountain. I’ll holding back the obvious jokes here. Disney is G rated after all.
Bathroom #4: Liberty Square near the Haunted Mansion
This was my son’s favorite ride. The trick floor and hologram ghosts might not have made him pee his pants, but he did b-line it for this bathroom immediately afterwards. He appreciated the lower sink with automatic soap dispenser.
It was a wonderful vacation. Happy grandparents. Happy kids. Happy wife. We’ll never forget it. And now, we’re seasoned vets. We know how to beat the crowds, where to eat (Princess Lunch at the Castle is a must). Most importantly, we know where the best bathrooms are.
Total attractions experienced: 62
Total number of trips to the bathroom: 71